love is wat u need

my trust is not for you to play with at all…

i give my trust to every1…my family, my friends, and all the people tat i know off…some how i will forgive u if u play once or twice but going over it is something i HATE THE MOST!!!!!

trust on my family can gain back but not for my friends who used it and also play with it… u might think is okie but IT IS NOT!!!

as a friend to me i some how choose to protect u from those lies tat r being throw at u… i choose to believe wat i believe in… n no matter wat..i never trust wat ppl say bout u cause i care bout u… but me being so NAIVE…CAME TO KNOW BOUT UR TRUE COLOUR…some how u show me ur true colour…n wat others told me is true…those lies i do not which to trust…tat… tat… it was ur true colour….

thanks for making me happy…. cause i really do feel happy my dear friend…those times i will never forget… but now I HATE YOU SO MUCH!!! so much tat i will never 1 2 c u again….hopefully u can get a friend who is not like me n u can play their trust easily…

but let me tell u tis…IF U CONTINUE TO PLAY WIF THIS ‘TRUST’ MAKE SURE U NEVER REGRET…CAUSE IF U DO IT WILL B TOO LATE FOR ‘SORRY’ …

wow…its just yesterday…hhahhahaha…

it was 7.30 when i reach sunway… n wait for my dad to finish his dinner while we lepak inside the car listening to bsb song….n i was counting down the minutes to the concert tat starts at 8pm…

my dad park the car at sunway pyramid’s new wing n the complex was awsome… cool!!! u got to check it out!!!! n yeah we were lost finding the concert venue at the surf beach… hahah… n b4 tat was a down pour…. every1 was waiting to go in…

the beach was wet cause of the rain n it was hot n every1 was sweating n just imagine standing wif such a big group of ppl waiting for the concert too!!! ( well wat to do… it was an open-air concert n free standing ) hahahha… n well we wait for bout 1 hour (9pm) n finally…. the blast…

making their first entry by singing backstreet’s back in their boxing attire… the huge fan group sang along (well their ticket was a sold out…so imagine how much fans were there)

changing into their smart casual outfit… they sang most of their top hits like quit playing games wif my heart, show me the meaning of being lonely,inconsolable,as long as you love, the call,my love sis all i have to give,I’ll be the one, helpless when she smiles n many more.. n it was a breathtaking 2 hour event!!! n it was a total blast!!! cause i get to c them up close… wakakkaka…

n yeah last sat…. i went to meet the chong’s sister tat is pamela n venessa chong.. our very own malaysian team in the amazing race asia at aloha… hahahha… n to meet our own iTalenstar… hahha… will update photos to let u c… hahhah… check out my photo gallery to c the chongs sister n also backstreet boys live in malaysia…. wakakka…. chos….

it was yesterday when the rain start falling n cool down the heat of the earth….. it was cool at nite when my dad force me to swim in the cool water….but surprisingly the water was not cool… but the air was…

after swimming for a few rounds… i float lazily on the water n listen to the rain drop that splash into the swimming pool giving the soothing sound of peace….

then later i sat on the stairs n keep my body in the water cause it was freezing cool…i stare at the rain drops…it makes me feel happy n i look above as the rain falls…it brings out the happiness in me as the rain falls on my face….it feels like there is nothing to worry about..the rain makes me so carefree…

walking under the rain..playing under the rain…swimming under the rain is 1 things i will always do…and love to do                                 (of course without thunder n lightning) and i hope tat more more happy things will happen just by standing under the rain….

have u ever found something or some1 worth keeping for??

well i have found tat some1… well he is not my bf but some1 so dear to me…..he always brighten up my days n always put a smile on my face…..is so natural… every time i think bout him… just makes me happy…

well is was 5 or 6 years down the road when i first become close to him…it was a Christmas party… n i was in a short musical sketch for the Christmas party and he was the pianist… and i can tell u tat he was the first ever person who actually melt my heart by just playing the piano…n because of his sense of humor too… but is just the hold package tat i like bout him…it’s very hard to describe it…

i some how grew closer to him but because of the different age gap and hours ( he was in college and part time studying n i was in school) we grew apart and went on wif our lives… until recently tis year… i took the courage to ask him to be my ‘bro’ but prepare of the word "reject" but somehow he said yes… and everything just change form tat second…. 

and before tis year end…i will like to thank god for having him as my friend n also a bro( well of course other than my family which i’m always grateful for)…who has always support me n gives me courage in my life (even during spm days) n also care for me…..

im writing tis down so tat when tis year end n the new year arrives…i will cherish the memories i had wif him from the day i meet him till now… n as i look back tis will b the first happy memories i have ever had…. thank u lord!!!!

like my title for tis post… sum how my feelings for u wont fade away…

i dunno why and dun ask me why… cause i have been ignoring it for so long n think tat it might fade away….well sum how for just a few months it works… but then…it came back…

what am i suppose to do??? why am i feeling tis way?? y cant i let it go??? why my heart just cant ignore it??? why…oh…. why???

every time when i c ur pic or even hear ur voice.. it makes me think back bout the time tat we went thru together… sometimes it hurts me and sometimes it makes me happy but most of all it hurts me alot…with a my stubbornness tat i have i try to ignore it but i cant and it always seems to find its way back to me… y ???

i never have tis feeling b4…mayb i was just being naive bout it or sumthing but sumhow tis feeling wont fade…wat am i suppose to do?? how am i going to help myself or make tis feeling stop??

yup…tas rite Christmas is here once again…wow!!!

it seems like just yesterday i was sweet 16 and now 17 going on 18

I’m going to miss all of my friends… all of my bitter sweet memories and most of all the time being in high school…. becoming a Minda ceriansss and also becoming a member in the girl brigade….

being here with all the people i have know is so precious to me as they have help me along the way…. and help me in becoming a mature thinking person..learn how to appreciate friends and to learn how to trust the ppl who r worth being trust….

having all this ppl makes me sad because at the end we have to go separate ways…n will not have this close bond tat we have in this five year of high school life…..but yet happy cause it help me to fill in my parts and pieces of life

and my christmas wish for tis year is to seal my memories inside of me n never let go…no matter wat it takes… i will protect it

well… its been so long since i last blog…

n i just 1 2 say how i feel….

after end of high school life….lots of things happen….and most of it is relationships which i finally learn from my friends mistake….

well most of my friends are in a relationship where mostly try liking that guy/girl but just tat their heart was not there… they are trying to give chance to like tat person….why do it when there is no love??? well i dunno cause they have experience it and i haven’t….

i have a friend who actually start and end after 4 days…. y does it happen??  cause of giving tat person face she accept his proposal to become his gf but yet there was no love and she broke up wif him and tat guy cry cause he still do not understand y she does it….then y start??

i have another friend who lives in her own dreams and like a boy who just playing wif he but she choose to believe in her dreams and turn up being hurt after knowing the truth…. y just cant have life in reality??

i think cause they cant be honest to them self and to the other partner… they just 1 2 believe in wat they think might be rite and turn up hurting each other….i know tat every1 1 2 dream bout having a nice relationship but if there is no honesty,truth,understanding and patience y start?? well i cant tell you not all relationship dun have argument or misunderstanding

but let me tell you…. ask yourself are you playing a fair game in tis relationship ?? are you being honest to ur feelings??? or r you just simply giving in ??then mayb you might even understand urself more…

everyday in my life….

counting the days to spm… days to struggle….days when im down… days when im happy… days when im even sick n tired…..

when u start a brand new days….

u keep repeating the same thing everyday… dun u get bored??? well i do… n im tired of it… sick of things happening around me…. well u can even ask me… How am i going to survive in the working world…. n i can tell u i dun know… cause i dun hv the answer…

days when im down…

well no 1 know about it….i keep it to myself till i cant take it n burst it all out… cry till me eyes sore n still no1 knows how hurt am i… not even my friends nor my family….have u ever try tat???

how bout trying to c the 1 u like… like some1 else??

if it some 1 u dun know it will hurt… but not as much as u c him wif one of ur best friend…. how do u feel??? betrayed???

how bout this???

when u like somebody….. liking him/her till everyday when u close ur eyes u think of him/her??? but in reality u r close friends… feelings not being express to tat special some1 but 2 keep it 2 urself….everything seems so near but yet is far from reach…..

have u ever have the feeling of wanting a warm hug… supportive smile… a soft shoulder to lean on… the warm sense of touch an a hand to hold u when u r weak…sad… or even lonely???? u tell me….

feel likes every1 owes u a living then think again….

u tell me n i tell u….

so wat do u think now?????

seriously… i tell u….

if not u will regret it for the rest of ur life……

it is really base on my experince…. cause i have lost 2 of my love ones in my 17 years of life…..it is really heart broken… suffering n lots of pian in the heart….

this 2 person really mean to me in my life but because i appreciate them to late so i lost them already…..

it is really a big slap in the face to me…how  wish i could turn back the time when they are still here by my side….

if i could i would…..when memories flash back in ur mind… the days when u cry, laugh , get mad at each other will appear in ur mind suddenly…. n after tat… u try to think back the moment u have lost wif the certain person….

i lost 2 in my life n have regret it untill today…..what about u??? do u 1 2 regret later n suffer the silent pain ??? do think about them before is toooooooooooooo late